Peer Review
Reviewed for: Dhairya Patel
Link: https://1920betterlivessmc.myblog.arts.ac.uk/2020/05/08/blog-post-2-themes-2/
Off the bat, Dhairya mentions her field of study, which is Hair and Makeup, and the issues associated with cosmetology. In her first paragraph, she explains the change and development in the cosmetics industry on sustainability. She supports herself well as she list examples of companies that are becoming successful on sustainability, like L’Oréal, Circumference and Rituals. However, she quickly transitions to the topic ‘diversity’ without continuing to mine deeper into sustainability. She briefly mentions the improvement of cosmetic companies and brands accepting diversity nowadays, such as the inclusion of more shades for concealers and foundations. I think it will be more beneficial for her if examples of those brands are given, like Fenty Beauty. Of course, emerging and smaller scaled brands that do so can also be included.
Dhairya shifts to ‘natural hair discrimination’ that still exist around today. I think this is interesting because this type of discrimination does not have a fair weight in the discussion of diversity and inclusivity. The following two sentences explain how natural hair discrimination affect the competition between large and small cosmetic companies, and how this can be worked through by the choices of hair and makeup artists on the diversity of models’ hair colour and quality. Again, these information hooks me to learn more, however there is a lack of further research and more information to be provided here. After finishing diversity, Dhairya transitions to the role of social responsibility in the cosmetics industry. Personally after reading her text on this subject, I feel that her paragraph on ‘social responsibility’ is short but refined. From her text, I agree that while there are many options of sustainable brands and products for consumers, some still cannot afford the high prices set for being ‘cruelty-free’ or ‘environmentally friendly’.
There should be alternative methods for cosmetic brands to be socially responsible without the raise of prices. In Dhairya’s last paragraph, she introduces details on her unit project, which I think it should be placed in the first paragraph, if necessary. It may be better for her to explore more and summarize her previous points. Overall, I think she has equally mentioned the three themes in the Better Lives unit. The only minor issue is that the grammar in a few places can be improved, although it is not overly distracting. After all, I think Dhairya’s points and ideas in this text is understandable and a good start to research further for a better industry and world for everyone.